i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
