i just wanna soil my oats bro
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Randomize
