I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
