i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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