I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
