When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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