and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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