the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
