So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
