I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
