we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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