grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
