Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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