You don't have asthma, your pregnant
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
