ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Randomize
