I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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