is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
