I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
