kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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