I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
