I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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