One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
