He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Randomize
