this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
