fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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