Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
