you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
