Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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