his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
