I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I wish I only lived at night.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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