just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
