How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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