Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
