too bad you live with your parents still
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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