Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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