I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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