Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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