sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
