maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
