maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
