Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
