Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
