Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
