My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
