What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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