Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
