The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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