ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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