girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
