Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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